


Little Conversations

by creative_smtimes



Series: The 100 Post Canon Happy Fics [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Conversations, Echo is called Ash again, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Indra talks about her husband, Multi, Post-Canon, Raven talks about Luna
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26880475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creative_smtimes/pseuds/creative_smtimes
Summary: aka the opposite of small talk.Little conversations about the past and the future of what's left of the human race
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Niylah & Gaia, Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Gaia & Clarke Griffin, Hope Diyoza/Jordan Jasper Green, Luna & Raven Reyes (mentioned), Octavia Blake & Indra, Octavia Blake & Raven Reyes, Raven Reyes & Levitt
Series: The 100 Post Canon Happy Fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954072
Comments: 32
Kudos: 21
Collections: The 100 Post-Canon





	1. Clarke and Gaia

“How are you,” Gaia asked as everyone started to spread after lunch, “really?” she added a second later and her tone told Clarke that she would not be fooling her with a simple  _ I’m okay _ .

So she smiled at her friend, the smile not quite reaching her eyes and she knew the other woman would notice. “I’m glad I’m not alone.”

Gaia smiled back before she looked down at her feet.

“So are you,” Clarke then noticed. “How long were you alone for?”

“Only a couple of days,” Gaia replied. “I thought it might be forever.”

“I know,” Clarke sighed. “I know that feeling far too well…”

“How are you really, though,” Gaia asked again, “with Madi not being here…?”

Clarke looked down and let her foot move the pebbles at her feet back and forth.

“Clarke?” Gaia’s dug itself underneath Clarke’s skin.

Only three people ever said her name so caringly without any accusation or disappointment: Gaia, Niylah and Lexa.

“I have seen you hold a gun to your head at the prospect of losing Madi. Yesterday you told me you would be nothing if you lost her.”

The memories stung in Clarke’s chest. “I know,” she finally sighed, letting out all the reservations she could have had against opening up to her friend with that breath. “And I do miss her, you’re right. I know you miss her, too and I know it will take us both some time to be fully okay with her not being here… We should talk to Murphy and Emori about that, actually.”

Gaia furrowed her brow at that.

“While you were on Earth and I was on Bardo, they took care of her and I think so did Jackson. Maybe after we talk about our dead, we should talk about our non-dead but not here people, too,” she smiled.

“We all have so much to talk about.”

“And so much time to do so…”

They looked at Murphy, Emori and Ash making fishing rods at the shore for a while. 

“I noticed earlier how similar we are,” Gaia broke their silence.

Clarke just made a questioning sound as she brought her attention back to her friend.

“You said my father reminded me of yours,” Gaia began to explain. “Our mothers are similar, too.”

“Your mother gave the command for the battle your father died in, didn’t she?” Clarke asked carefully.

Gaia nodded.

“My mother was the reason my dad was floated,” Clarke said. “She had good intentions in talking to the Chancellor about what dad had found out but…”

“It still took you a long time to forgive her,” Gaia finished for her, looking over to where her mother was talking to Octavia.

“We both distanced ourselves from our mothers and they adopted another daughter who was closer to her during the time we were gone,” Clarke pointed out with a nod to Raven behind Octavia and Indra.

“They didn’t do that to replace us,” Gaia said.

“I know,” Clarke quickly reassured her. “I’m glad my mother had Raven and I’m even more glad Raven had my mother.”

“I’m glad for Octavia, too,” Gaia nodded. “They both did not have a mother anymore when ours took them in.”

It was Clarke’s time to nod. Looking at Octavia and Indra for a bit longer, a sad smile grew on her face again. “I do miss Madi,” she sighed.

“I do, too.”


	2. Niylah and the kids

She had wanted to talk to Clarke about having seen Lexa but with Clarke having turned towards Gaia, Niylah, not knowing what else to do, turned to her other side instead. There, looking around awkwardly, were the two kids: Jordan and Hope.

“So,” Niylah addressed them, moving from the bench she had been sitting on to the stones in front of them to give Clarke and Gaia some privacy. She let herself fall onto the ground, looking a bit childish as the stones crunched underneath her butt. “How do you kids like Earth so far?”

Hope shrugged. “So far it’s not much different from Skyring,” she replied. “Except that there’s no ring in the sky, of course.”

Jordan chuckled. “I don’t know what to say,” he replied. “I’ve never been here before and yet it feels like home and I don’t know if it’s because I know that this is where my family is from or if it’s because of the people I’m with.”

“Maybe it’s both,” Niylah suggested. 

“You know, Octavia told me about you,” Hope broke their little silence.

“Really, what’d she say?” Niylah looked up at the woman who somehow was almost her age.

“She said you saved her life,” Hope replied. “She said you’d never gloat about it, you wouldn’t even seem like it probably if you didn’t know but she said you were a hero.”

“And how am I a hero?” Niylah asked, smiling confusedly. “I’ve never made any big decisions, I’ve never been a leader of any group, I’ve never done all those things Octavia and Clarke have done...”

“But you saved them,” Hope pointed out. “When Clarke was alone in the woods, you helped her, you helped hide her from the bounty hunters and you took care of her. During your time in the bunker, you stayed at Octavia’s side and during her worst moments, you were there with her, defending her and helping her get back up after!”

“My parents never did any of the stuff you just said Octavia and Clarke did,” Jordan chimed in, “But they’re still heroes!”

“They are,” Niylah agreed, her voice barely audible.

“They never lead a battle, they never pulled a lever, they never did any of those things. Yes, my dad helped bring down Mount Weather, but that’s not something he was proud of, that’s not the thing he’s remembered as a hero for. My parents brought what they thought was the rest of humanity to what they thought would be a new home – and it was for a bit. I think you’re a hero for bringing a little humanity and home to a few people.”

“Beautifully said,” Niylah smiled up at the two. “Thank you.”

“You don’t believe us yet, do you?” Jordan asked.

Niylah shook her head so lightly they were barely able to see. “Maybe someday,” she said. 

They just sat together for a bit, watching their friends and family talking and being productive. 

Jordan watched Raven get up from where she had been talking with Octavia. She walked over to Ash and Murphy to the lake. At the view, he remembered a quote his parents had told him many times: “For all its faults, Earth is really beautiful.”


	3. Raven and Levitt

“Okay, boys,” Raven clapped her hands together as she got up and stood in front of Jackson and Miller with a wide stance, excited to get some work done. “I’m gonna need your help.”

The couple just looked up at her expectantly.

“You, know what,” she turned towards the bench where Gaia was just now leaving her mother, Octavia and Levitt behind. “Levitt, you too.”

“Oh, okay,” he got up on his feet and, not without stroking Octavia’s shoulder so softly Raven only barely managed to restrain herself from making fun of it.

“We’re gonna build ourselves some real, durable shelters,” she announced. “Jackson, Miller, go find some good-looking trees for us and mark them, maybe someone with more earth experience can help you chop them later…” She looked around but Ash was helping with fishing and Indra and Niylah seemed to be having some deep conversations with Octavia and the kids respectively. (Of course, Hope and Jordan weren’t kids anymore but Raven had decided to treat them as if she were their aunt still.)

“What about me?” Levitt asked, looking a bit confused.

“You stay with me for a couple more minutes,” Raven replied and nodded at the other two to get going.

Once they had disappeared between the trees, Miller happily jumping over small plants and pulling a laughing Jackson with him, Raven turned back to Levitt. “I wanted to talk to you for a bit.”

“About what?”

“About feelings,” she replied, making him frown.

“Look, your people suppressed their emotions, their pain but also their love and I just want you to know that I get it.”

He looked at her with a lot of interest so she kept going.

“I don’t know how much you know about me already. O said something about you reading her mind or something which… that tech sounds awesome, we’ll definitely have to talk about that some time… so yea, I don’t know how much you know about the whole Alie situation…?”

“I know she made people swallow chips so they wouldn’t feel any pain anymore,” he replied, “And I know you took the chip and you were the first one that managed to get out of Alie’s grasp. Octavia was there when you woke up.”

“Do you know why I took the chip?”

“Octavia didn’t but I’m going to guess it was a mixture of your leg hurting and Finn dying?”

Raven looked away at the mention of Finn.

“I’m sorry, you don’t know me, it’s weird I know these things about you…”

“It’s okay,” Raven said, “I asked you what you knew and you replied.” She swallowed. “Yes, I took it because I didn’t want to feel that pain anymore, neither physically nor mentally. But the thing was, Alie didn’t just take away my pain, she took away my memories. Because I was sad about Finn, that bitch blocked off all my memories of him, even the happy ones.”

“That’s why you took out the chip again.”

“Exactly.” Raven nodded. “So I guess I just wanted you to know that, even though I may not have grown up in a world without feelings, I do have some experience in waking up from feeling nothing and suddenly feeling everything.” She looked into Levitt’s eyes who again just waited for her to continue. “So if you ever need help with sorting through something you’re feeling,” she finally said and smiled, “I’m your gal.”

“Thank you,” Levitt nodded, looking genuinely appreciative.

“Now go help the other boys with the wood,” she said, patting his shoulder once and moving him into the direction of the trees with it.

“I’ll help, too,” Indra got up behind them and whispered something to Octavia before she followed the men into the forest.

“Thank you,” Raven called after her before she turned around to Octavia who was now sitting alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To see what Miller and Jackson were doing in the woods, read [this Chapter of Little Moments](https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/65632048) by my friend FrozenMemories


	4. Indra and Octavia

“Levitt, you too,” Raven said from behind them and with a touch to Octavia’s shoulder that made her want to sink into it, he got up, leaving her sitting alone with Indra.

“I get why you’re not ready to talk about Gaia’s father,” Octavia said as soon as her boyfriend had reached Raven.

Indra looked up at her, a deep appreciation for her former second in her eyes. “You’re not ready to talk about Lincoln either.”

“You know, with the time I spent on Skyring, they’ve been gone for almost the same time for each of us,” Octavia noticed. “Gaia said she was 10 when he died?”

“She was…”

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Indra decided to change the topic.

“So, Levitt…?” she asked nodding her head into his direction.

Octavia blushed a little. “On Bardo, they had technology that allowed him to see my memories,” she explained. “He saw me at my worst and still, he understood me. When I killed Pike in my memories, he cheered. Of course, he didn’t know what it was like to actually live through it, he still doesn’t really…”

“But he saw you do all the things you hate yourself for and still found it in himself to love you,” Indra said.

“Yes,” Octavia nodded. 

“ _Ai houmon don bilaik daun seimtaim,_ ” Indra said, looking down at her feet.

“When my mother died, I was still a second but once my training was over, I became the Chief of TonDC. I lead my people into countless battles against the other clans until Lexa united us…” Indra took a deep breath before she continued. “Monu was always been there when I was having a hard time living with a decision I had made during a battle. He was always there for me and then he wasn’t and Lexa was starting to talk about uniting the clans so I needed to be strong for Trikru; dealing with all that change and suddenly being expected to work together with the people who had killed our loved ones… I built up walls against my feelings and told Gaia to do the same. When she left to train as a _fleimkepa_ , I thought it had been the worst decision of my life. But choosing that path is the reason she is still here now. She has forgiven me and I think, I’ll be able to do that soon, too.”

“Thank you for talking about him.” Octavia took her _seda’s_ hand into her own. “Maybe I’ll talk about Lincoln at dinner.”

“Now go help the other boys with the wood,” Raven’s voice came from behind them and Levitt smiled at Octavia as he walked into the forest.

“I’ll help, too,” Indra said, getting up. “Can’t expect Skaikru and a Bardoan to know what they’re doing,” she added in a lower voice to Octavia who smiled and chuckled.


	5. Raven and Octavia

“Hey,” Raven said as she sat down next to Octavia.

“Hey.”

“What do you think Niylah is talking to the kids about?” 

“No idea, but Hope just looked over at me as if they’re talking about me,” Octavia replied, finally looking to Raven. “What about Gaia and Clarke?”

“Probably Madi,” Raven shrugged.

“I’m glad Clarke has Gaia for that,” Octavia commented, looking over at the two women instead now.

“Do you think there’s something between them?” Raven asked.

Octavia furrowed her brows, studying them. “I don’t think so,” she finally replied. “I don’t take Gaia for a relationship kind of person,” she added.

Raven made a small humming sound that did not seem to really have a meaning.

“Maybe they’re a bit like me and Niylah,” Octavia continued.

“How so?”

Octavia shifted a little. “Niylah was the only one who was really there for me in the bunker,” she finally replied. “Of course, Indra and Miller were with me, too, but they were more like political advisors, you know? They were talking to Blodreina. Niylah was the only one who never stopped talking to Octavia.”

Raven looked at her friend, taking in her face as she remembered all the stages she had seen her go through. “I’m glad you had her, then.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds.

“Have you ever had a person like that?” Octavia asked. 

“I didn’t have a Blodreina alias one would have had to look past,” Raven replied without thinking. “Sorry,” she added as she saw something in Octavia’s eyes she interpreted as hurt.

“It’s a good thing you didn’t,” Octavia commented. “But did you have someone ever since we first landed on earth who saw past your skills and the things you would and could do for everyone and just saw _you_?”

Raven throught for a few seconds before Octavia saw a sad smile spread on her face. “Clarke was a bit like that in the beginning,” she replied, “but not for long…”

“What about after?”

Raven looked down at the fireplace. “Luna,” she replied and, looking back up at Octavia, caught a glimpse of sadness in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Octavia said. 

“Like Clarke said, the Luna you killed in the Conclave wasn’t the Luna who helped me on Becca’s island,” she assured her. 

“Do you want to talk about the Luna from the island?” Octavia asked carefully.

Raven smiled genuinely at the memory. “I was so angry at myself for constantly failing the rocket’s simulations that I lashed out and almost beat up Murphy,” she remembered. 

“Everyone wanted to beat up Murphy at some point or another,” Octavia joked, making Raven chuckle.

“But Luna stopped me,” she continued her story. “She grabbed me from behind, pulling me away from him and at first, I just wanted to turn around and beat her up along with him but of course she held me so close I couldn’t pull myself away from her so we just sort of fell to the ground together while I kept screaming and somehow… just her being pressed against my back calmed me down. Then she started whispering something into my ear… it was in trig and I didn’t understand it. I don’t know to this day what it meant because I never got around to asking her but she made me say it with her and it calmed me down like she had put a spell on me or something,” she chuckled. “In that moment, it felt like she was the only person who didn’t expect anything from me. Everyone needed me to succeed and that pressure was what’d made me so angry but she just held me and whispered to me and when I had calmed down, she just said ‘I know the darkness’ and I understood. I understood that she had understood me.”

“ _Ai gif ai op gon nemiyon kom lanik-de_ ,” Octavia said carefully

Raven’s head snapped up to look at her. “What did you say?” she asked.

“ _Ai gif ai op gon nemiyon kom lanik-de_ ,” Octavia repeated.

“That’s it,” Raven said, a smile spreading across her entire face, “That’s the thing she said to calm me down. How do you know it? What does it mean?”

“Lincoln used it on me sometimes when I was frustrated because of a sparring session,” Octavia remembered with a slight smile at seeing Raven so excited. “He said she’d used it on him, Nyko and her brother when they were angry as children.”

“What does it mean?” Raven asked.

“It means ‘I give myself to the miracle of the sea,’” Octavia translated. “Lincoln explained to me that she’d always wished to live at the ocean. He said he was happy when he heard she’d run away from her conclave because he knew where she would have gone.”

“She rocked me back and forth while she was saying it,” Raven remembered, having only halfway listened to Octavia. “She was imitating the waves,” she smiled.

Octavia chuckled. “She was.”

The happy feeling was drowned out in Octavia’s chest as she remembered slicing her sword into the back of the woman they were talking about.

Raven noticed the change on Octavia’s face. “Change of topic?” she asked.

Octavia nodded thankfully. 

Raven looked around, searching for something to talk about instead. “Ash,” she finally said as her eyes fell on the woman standing to her knees in the water, laughing at Murphy’s attempt to make the rod he had made stick between the stones so he wouldn’t have to hold it for hours.

“What about her?” Octavia asked, first following Raven’s line of sight, then looking back at the woman next to her.

“You two’ve come a long way,” Raven shrugged. “What do you think about her now?”

“It’s weird,” Octavia admitted, looking back at Ash herself. “She’s tried to kill me a few times, but so have many others.” She shrugged and almost chuckled. “She was Bellamy’s girlfriend, you consider her family and so does Hope…”

“What about you?” Raven asked.

“I told her she’s my family,” Octavia said. “When we were locked up together on Bardo and thought Bellamy had been killed by that Disciple… She was angry at so many things at once and I just held her – maybe like Luna held you, I don’t know – and I told her that she was my family.”

Raven nodded slowly. “You’ve had 10 years on another planet to think about your relationship to her,” she remembered.

“I’m still not sure how I’ll make her believe me,” Octavia replied. A thought came to her and she turned around to face Raven again. “You’re her family,” she pointed out but didn’t know how to continue.

“You want me to give you a course, How to be Ash’s family 101,” Raven joked.

“No,” Octavia smiled. “I don’t know…”

“Just go talk to her,” Raven suggested. “Ask her about our time on the Ring maybe or about her time on Skyring. You can talk about Hope, maybe.”

Octavia watched Ash interacting with Murphy and saw that Emori was walking away from them to where Jordan and Hope were sitting together in silence, Niylah looking over to Clarke and Gaia. “She’s talking to Murphy right now,” she commented right as the man exclaimed triumphantly, having made his fishing-rod stick in the ground.

“I can distract him,” Raven offered and got up without waiting for Octavia’s reply.


	6. Clarke, Niylah and Gaia

With Hope following Octavia to Ash – likely looking for a long-overdue talk with the two people she had spent the most time of her life with – and Emori sitting down next to Jordan, looking like she wanted to talk to him alone, Niylah decided to just sit with Clarke and Gaia after all.

“I hope I’m not intruding,” she said as she stood awkwardly in front of them. 

“Not at all,” Clarke assured her, looking up at her and Niylah could see they had been talking about somebody Clarke missed. Was it Lexa? Or Madi?  
“You were talking about Madi, weren’t you?” she decided to ask.

Clarke just nodded and Niylah decided not to dwell on the topic and not to ask about Lexa for now either.

“What did you, Jordan and Hope talk about?” Clarke asked, looking over at Jordan who was now talking to Emori.

Niylah blushed. “They told me about the stories they’d heard of me,” she smiled.

“All good things, I’m sure,” Gaia’s soft voice came from next to Clarke.

Niylah gave her a short nod before looking back at Clarke. “They talked about how I helped both you and Octavia through your times as _Wanheda_ and _Blodreina_.”

“You did,” Clarke nodded, “so much!” She looked over at Octavia and Hope talking to Ash at the water. She opened her mouth slightly and took in a short breath as she laid her head a bit to the side. Gaia and Niylah both recognized this face as Clarke having made a new observation.

“What is it?” Gaia asked.

“ _Echo_ is Ash’s _Wanheda_ ,” she said. “And her _Blodreina_ ,” she added.

Gaia and Niylah looked at each other, confused.

“What do you mean?” Niylah asked, turning around to look at Ash for a second.

“ _Wanheda_ was what I was called after I killed the Mountain men and it was a persona I took on because being _Wanheda_ meant I could justify my actions as _her_ actions instead of mine.”

“ _Wanheda_ wasn’t something you were, it was a shield you put up to protect the Clarke that was underneath,” Niylah explained further, remembering the first night she had slept with Clarke. She had wanted to talk about something _Wanheda_ had done but Clarke just wanted to be _Clarke_ that night.

“Octavia did the same in the bunker,” Gaia added. “I helped her with it,” she admitted. 

Clarke looked over at her friend curiously. 

“After the first time she had killed a group of people for being enemies of Wonkru, she was drenched in their blood and while my mother told her to wash it off before she went back to talk to our people, I told her that she should wear her enemies’ blood as her armor.”

“The red warpaint,” Clarke remembered.

Gaia nodded. “I think it was why she chose the name _Blodreina_ …”

They were silent for a few seconds.

“Why are you saying that _Echo_ is the same for Ash?” Gaia asked Clarke, remembering how they had gotten to the topic. 

“ _Echo_ the name comes from her killing someone,” Clarke started her explanation. “A kill that was immensely significant to her. Afterward, everyone began calling her _Echo_ just like everyone called me _Wanheda_ after the Mountain.”

“She never told us before what her real name was because being _Echo_ let her do things _Ash_ couldn’t have done,” Niylah continued.

“She was only a child when she became _Echo_ ,” Clarke said and both of the other women could hear in her voice and see in her eyes that, again, there was another thought somewhere beneath that statement.

“What are you thinking about?” Niylah asked carefully. 

“Lexa was 12 when she became Commander, wasn’t she?” Clarke asked Gaia.

Gaia nodded.

Clarke swallowed. “I know that to the two of you, Lexa was just _Heda_ but… I think _Heda_ was a mask for her just like _Wanheda_ and _Blodreina_ and _Echo_ and… I think that she was actually _Lexa_ with me…” Tears started forming in Clarke’s eyes at the memory of her long-gone lover, causing both Niylah and Gaia to move closer to her instinctively.

“Of course, she was,” Niylah whispered. “She loved you.”

Clarke looked up at her at that. “She never said she loved me…” she whispered back. “I think one time she almost did when I was about to leave for Arkadia but she never did.”

“Of course, she loved you,” Niylah said. “If she was _Lexa_ with you after being _Heda_ for almost 10 years, you have to have meant a lot to her.”

Gaia nodded on Clarke’s other side. “When I was talking to Madi about the former Commanders, whenever Lexa came up, Madi looked happy,” she said. “Her spirit was proud of you for raising her successor.”

Gaia’s statement sent Clarke over the edge and her tears began falling freely. Both women reached out to her and Clarke let herself be held by them, enjoying the comfort they gave her so freely and deciding that maybe, despite all the people she had lost, she might manage to find happiness here.


	7. Emori and Jordan

Sensing the conversation with Niylah was over and seeing Aunty O walk over to Ash, Hope decided to get up and talk to then while Niylah moved over to Clarke and Gaia so Jordan was quite glad when he felt Emori sit down on the bench next to him.

“Do you see how Gaia and Niylah are taking care of Clarke?” she asked after a long moment of silence.

“Yes?” he replied, looking at the three women and then back at Emori on his other side. “Why?”

“Your mother was like that for me,” Emori admitted with a somber smile.

He turned more towards her, always interested in stories about his parents.

“Everyone always talks about Monty,” Emori said as if she had just noticed it now but Jordan could sense that she had been wanting to talk to him about it for longer. “About how he brought us to Sanctum, how he was against war, what he would have done…” she trailed off. “Of course, he did all that, he did a lot and he was an incredible man, I just don’t want your mom to be forgotten in all this.”

“What do you remember about her that you want to talk about?” he asked with a smile.

Emori studied his face for a second before speaking. He was her age – older actually – and older than his parents had been when she had last seen them. “You have her smile, you know?” Emori pointed out instead of answering the question.

“I know,” Jordan replied. “Dad told me often.”

Emori turned so that she wasn’t looking at Jordan anymore but in front of her instead. “During our first months on the Ring, I felt worthless,” Emori began her story. “Monty was feeding everyone, Raven was getting the whole place running again, Bellamy and Ech- Ash were starting to give us fight training of different kinds, Harper was holding everyone together and John at least didn't feel like a fish out of the water.” 

They both chuckled but Emori’s face turned serious again soon.

“I was a grounder on a space station!”

He nodded, knowing the feeling from having been in the opposite situation.

“And, sure, that meant I could teach them Trigedasleng but... Ash was much better at teaching…” She trailed off, smiling at the memory of getting frustrated with trying to figure out her own mother tongue’s rules to explain to the others.

“What I'm meaning to get to,” she pulled herself out of her memories to get back to the point, “is that your mother noticed and took me aside and talked to me. She helped me get rid of those voices in my head telling me it wouldn't have made a difference if I had died on the ground.” 

She looked over at the man who had the same eyes as Monty and so much of Harper’s expression in them.

“Together with her, I realized that my past of working with tech for Alie made me a perfect assistant and student for Raven.” Her expression changed only the slightest bit but Jordan could sense that the next bit would be important. “Your mother was our soul up there and we would never have become the family we were and are if it hadn't been for her."

"Thank you," was all Jordan gave for a reply but his smile told Emori the rest.

They sat together in silence for a bit longer, watching Murphy and Raven skip stones over the surface of the lake, laughing and cheering.


	8. Murphy and Raven

Having finished building and setting up the fishing-rods, Murphy was starting to get bored. He picked up a hand full of rocks and began throwing them into the water one by one.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” Emori said with determination in her eyes, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she got up from where she had been sitting next to him.

“Don’t run away too far,” he joked which earned him a scoffed chuckle.

He looked after her for a few seconds before he picked up another handful of rocks and began throwing them into the water again.

“Would you mind not doing that?” Ash asked and as almost always, he couldn’t fully tell if she was genuinely pissed about it or just a little annoyed. “It’s gonna scare away the fish,” she added, her voice a lot calmer.

“How about we do it a couple meters away then?” Raven’s voice came from behind him, followed by a bigger rock than his plunging into the water a lot further away from the fishing rods as his throws had landed. “That way the stones scare away the fish from there and they go straight into your hands instead.”

“Local genius at it again,” Murphy joked as he got up. 

“Always at your service.” Raven did something close to a bow before she shoved his shoulder lightly to make him follow her. 

Ash just chuckled as she looked after them.

“You know what?” Murphy asked as they were a bit away from Ash. 

“What?” Raven turned around only to see him crouching onthe ground, looking as if he was studying the rocks.

“Ha!” he exclaimed and picked up a rock, then another. They were a lot flatter than most of the others and almost round.

Raven watched curiously as her friend walked close to the water and threw the stone with his hand staying about at the level of his hip. The stone touched the surface of the water but didn’t sink. Instead, it skipped about a meter, skipped on the surface there again and only sunk the third time it touched the water.

Raven stepped next to Murphy as she watched the three sets of ripples the stone had created. 

“Cool huh?” he asked, “Emori taught me at the lake on Sanctum.”

“It is cool,” Raven admitted.

“You just need very flat stones,” he explained, showing her the second stone he had picked up before putting it into his right hand and throwing it so that it skipped on the water one, two, three times before it sank on the fourth impact.

“Makes sense,” Raven said as she picked up a flat stone herself. “The flat ones have more surface area so when they hit the water at the right angle, they don’t go down but keep jumping instead.” She threw the stone like Murphy had done. It sank on the second impact.

Murphy looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Yea, whatever,” he shrugged, “they bounce and it’s fun! I bet you can’t make one skip more than three times!”

Raven let herself be taken over by Murphy’s excitement. “Oh you’re so on!” she said, picking up two more flat stones and letting one sink into her pocket. “Whoever gets the most skips in one throw wins, loser has to gut the fish.”

“Deal,” Murphy said and stretched out his hand for her to shake.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise next chapter's gonna be longer


	9. Ash, Octavia and Hope

“Hope,” Octavia said with a smile as she noticed the woman follow her to the water. “Good, I could need you for this conversation!”

“How so?” Hope asked as Ash turned around, noticing them approaching.

“Should we help you with fishing?” Octavia asked Ash instead of answering Hope’s question.

“Uhm, sure,” Ash replied, looking confused.

“I found some plants at the side of the woods over there yesterday that are similar to the ones we used on Skyring to make fishing nets.” She pointed them to where she had seen the plants. “Collect some of those if you want.”

Octavia swallowed but followed Hope to where Ash had pointed.

“What did you mean you could use me for that conversation?” Hope asked when they were a couple of steps away from Ash again.

“You know Ash,” Octavia replied. “You spent years with her on Skyring, almost as long as my brother was on the Ring with her.”

“So?” 

Octavia looked at Hope for a second but turned to duck for the plants they had been sent to collect instead.

Upset at Octavia avoiding her question again, Hope took a step away from here before she started ripping out some of the plants as well.

“I want to get to know her better,” Octavia finally answered. “I only ever knew the version of her that followed Queen Nia or Roan blindly, then, after the bunker, I hated her, not letting my brother or Echo-,” she cursed quietly under her breath before she corrected herself, “Ash…” she took a breath to remember the sentence during which she had interrupted herself. “I didn’t let any of them show me how she’d changed. Then on Sanctum we didn’t spend much time together and on Bardo… She wasn’t herself there.”

“You want me to help you become friends with the woman who almost killed you,” Hope said, a disbelieving look on her face.

“You know that person is not all that she is,” Octavia scolded her.

“That’s who you taught me who she was,” Hope reminded her.

“That’s not true,” Octavia tried but the look Hope sent back at her said “We both know it is.”

“But you spent more than five years with her after that!” Octavia tried again. “Besides, Clarke’s almost killed me a bunch of times and I’m still friends with her.”

That made Hope chuckle. 

“So will you help me?”

Hope looked over at the woman who had raised her for more than a third of her life, contemplating. “I don’t know how.”

“Guess we’ll see.” With that, Octavia got up, took the two hands full of weed she had collected and started walking back towards Ash, Hope trailing right behind her.

A couple of steps on the rocky shore later, Octavia was face to face witch Ash again. The woman looked at her expectantly, wondering why she didn’t just pick up a stone to start working on the threads for the nets but instead was just looking at her as if lost.

“You said you’d learned how to make those nets from her?” Ash directed her question at Hope.

“She did,” Octavia said.

“Then why are you–” 

But Octavia decided to rip off the bandaid and just ask, interrupting Ash with her question. “How do I make us become family?”

Not only Ash but Hope, too, looked at her confused now, Ash looking at Hope for an explanation but she was looking at Octavia.

“I told you you were my family,” Octavia explained, taking another step towards her brother’s girlfriend. “But I’m not sure how to prove to you that I mean it. I want us to be family, Ash,” she said with even more determination. She then turned to Hope. “You’re my family,” she stated, “and you spent 5 years on Skyring with Ash. How did you two become family?”

Hope looked over at Ash, studying her face. “She hugged me,” she finally replied.

Octavia looked between the two women, taken aback by that reply and the barely-there smiles they were now sharing, having been reminded of the memory.

Ash grabbed a stone and a few of the twigs from Hope’s hand, sat down next to one of the bigger stones at the shore and started working.

Still waiting for a more detailed answer but hoping she would get one if she went along, Octavia sat down and followed Ash’s example. 

Hope, too, sat down a second later.

After a short while, Ash cleared her throat. “She’d grown up with your stories about me,” she started to explain. “At first, we were both being a bit bitchy about it. Repeating how you had told her about me almost killing you and saying how dumb it was to expect from the other that we would ever get to have any sort of trust between us… but she also kept saying how you’d also told her positive stuff about me, that I was brave and smart…”

“I did tell her that,” Octavia said, pointing at Hope with her rock in hand as if saying, _I told you so_.

“I know and that means a lot to me,” Ash nodded. She looked back at Hope. “We still didn’t get along very well in the beginning.”

Hope scoffed at the memory of their bickering.

Ash just shrugged. “Until I found your message,” she said to Octavia.

“You read my message?”

Ash nodded. “When I found it, it reminded Hope of you, Diyoza and Dev…”

“I started crying,” Hope admitted. Both Octavia and Ash noticed the tears that had sprung into her eyes at Ash mentioning her mother and father-figure.

“Understandably so,” Octavia quickly assured her.

“And I understood,” Ash shrugged. “My parents died when I was 8 and after that, I was constantly being watched by Queen Nia… I knew what it’s like to lose the only people you’d ever cared about so I decided that it didn’t matter anymore what she thought of me, who she thought I was, and what she knew I’d done. I just knew I needed her to know that she wouldn’t be alone for the time we would be on that planet together... So I hugged her.”

“At first, I pushed her away,” Hope remembered. “But she wouldn’t let me go, just held me closer until I gave up and started crying into her shoulder instead.”

“Sounds familiar to me,” Octavia said carefully, closely studying Ash’s face for her reaction.

Hope looked between the two, not knowing what she was talking about and why Ash’s facial expression was suddenly faltering.

“In our cell on Bardo,” Octavia began. “You were crying and I hugged you and told you you weren’t alone,” she said. “I hugged you and you pushed me away but I didn’t let you and you cried into my shoulder instead.”

Ash shot a quick glance at Hope to see her reaction before busying her hands with the next bundle of twigs.

“If it was okay for Hope to cry about losing us, then it was okay for you to cry then,” Octavia pointed out. 

They sat in silence for a few seconds, none of them really knowing what to say.

“We share so much pain,” Octavia then continued. “The two of you loved Gabriel and he helped me a lot, too.” She looked at Ash. “We both loved Bellamy. And we…” She looked at Hope now, still not fully grasping the fact that her little girl was already in her mid-20s. “We both loved your mother.”

The tears that had formed in Hope’s eyes a long while ago finally sprang free, rolling down her cheeks. Looking deep into her Aunty O’s eyes, Hope couldn’t understand the love that was still in them for her after what she had done.

“I killed her,” she said and both Ash and Octavia quickly let their work fall out of their hands to move towards her, to hold her. “I killed her,” she repeated.

“You didn’t mean to kill her,” Ash pointed out, her hand hovering close to Hope’s in the rock between them, knowing she didn’t want to be touched right now but needing a way to express that she was there for her.

“She died to protect you,” Octavia added, “To protect everyone on Bardo but mostly to protect you.” She slowly and carefully took the stone out of Hope’s hand but once it was gone and Octavia tried to entwine their fingers, Hope pulled her hand away.

“She still died because of me.” Hope started sobbing. “She’s dead because of how stupid I was.”

“My mother was killed for having me,” Octavia reminded her.

“My father was killed trying to protect me and my mother,” Ash added.

“But you weren’t the ones who killed them!” Hope said desperately, grabbing another stone from next to her feet to keep working on the twigs, to distract herself from all the feelings rushing through her body.

“I’ve killed out of revenge.” Octavia looked over to Ash, trying to ask with one look if and how they’d ever be able to help Hope get over this guilt.

“And I was the one who even brought the Gem9 there. I wanted to kill them for Bellamy.” Ash looked at her feet at that, ashamed for her actions. “I’m sorry for doing that.”

Hope looked up at her. “You know I would have done it if you hadn’t,” she snapped, having her new stone crush onto the twigs much harder than necessary. “There’s no use in you taking that blame, Echo, it was me who took the weapon and it was me who used it and it was me who killed my mother with it!”

“I’m just trying to help,” Ash said, her shoulders sinking in defeat and hurt at having heard Hope spit out her old name like that. 

“Most of us here have done things no human being should ever, ever do.” Octavia’s voice was calm but Ash wasn’t sure if it would have a calming effect, too.

“How do you live with it?” Hope asked, her voice low and almost a whisper. The hand with the stone stilled as she looked at the woman, not quite meeting her eyes.

“You say it was a different you and then you kill that other you,” Octavia said and neither of the other women was sure if she meant it seriously or as a messed-up joke.

“That was me though,” Hope said. “I used the Gem9 because of everything the Disciples had done to me my entire life. I can’t just be someone else than who I was my entire life!”

“I’ve been Echo for two decades,” Ash pointed out.

“But you didn’t do the worst things you ever did against Azgeda,” Hope spat back. “You did them _for_ Azgeda.”

“I know.” Ash’s posture crumbled even more at that.

“Skaikru took my childhood away,” Octavia started, “And I did terrible things to them. I did terrible things to many different people from many different clans. It doesn’t matter who we did what to and why.” She looked both women deep in the eyes, not letting them look away to make sure they were listening. “What matters is that we understand why we did what we did, why we made those mistakes, and that we learn from them.” She looked at Hope, pulling her face up at her chin so she was looking at her again. “Your mother’s last words to you were ‘Be better than me’,” she reminded her. “So just… always be better than your past self was. That’s how we learn to live with what we’ve done, by learning to do better.”

“Great motivational speech,” Ash commented but the smile on her lips was genuine.

Hope studied Octavia’s face, not sure what to say.

“Little help here?” Levitt’s voice suddenly rang over their little campsite.

When they turned to see what he was referring to, they saw him carrying a tree trunk with Indra, followed by Miller and Jackson carrying another one.

“We’ll talk about this again,” Octavia said, looking intensely at both Ash and Hope, leaving no room to argue, before leaving them to help with the wood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would now like to direct you back to [Chapter 4 of Taim 'so na hash au 'so stedaunon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26794294/chapters/66123319) where our group will be back chatting as the whole gang during dinner, enjoy!


	10. Ash and O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea Ik it's short but they're still warming up to one another so they still a bit awkward n quiet

As Ash knelt down by the water to wash the remains of their dinner off of the makeshift plates that could be reused, Octavia appeared next to her, wordlessly holding out her hand. Ash handed her the leaves that had been used as plates.

“Throw these away somewhere in the bushes, far enough away from our camp so the smell of dead fish doesn’t stay,” she ordered her calmly. “Then come back and help me wash these.

Octavia nodded and did as she was told.

When she returned, Ash handed her a stone plate but instead of going right back to work, she looked at Octavia for a few seconds more. “Did you have plates in the bunker?” she asked carefully.

Octavia tensed at the memory of eating down there – of what they had eaten. “We only had these ugly trays,” she replied, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “You wouldn’t wanna use them.”

“Okay,” Ash nodded slowly, looking at Octavia for a second more before continuing to wash the plates.

When Octavia was done washing her first one, Ash wordlessly handed her the next. That’s how they worked together for a few minutes until all the plates were clean.

“What about cutting plates from wood?” Octavia suggested, letting herself fall into a comfortable sitting position from where she had been crunching above the water.

“We don’t have saws to cut the wood we have fine enough,” Ash sighed and let herself fall next to Octavia.

“Well these stones don’t really do the trick,” Octavia said, pointing at the pile they had just cleaned. “They’re too small.”

“How about leaves for now?” Ash suggested. “If we make enough cordage tomorrow we can even tie them into bowls and just reuse the cordage for new ones once the old ones become too dry.”

“We should work on wooden ones for the long run, though,” Octavia said.

“Definitely,” Ash nodded.


	11. Niylah and Levitt

Seeing Octavia go after Ash and the rest of the group dissolving into their own little conversations again, Niylah decided it was a good time to finally have a little talk with her friend’s new boyfriend.

“So, Levitt,” she said as she sat down next to him.

“Yes?” he asked.

Niylah chuckled at the absurdity of what she had been planning to say. “You know, I wanted to give you the ‘you hurt her, I hurt you’ talk but now I don’t even know where to start.”

Levitt chuckled with her. “I’ve felt Octavia’s punches, I’m sure if I ever were to hurt her, she’d be able to revenge herself just fine.”

Niylah smiled sadly. “Yea, I’ve felt those punches, too.”

There was a short, awkward silence before she continued.

“You know, it’s funny. There’s many people I’ve had to convince to see the good in Octavia again after what she did in the bunker and in our fight for Eden, but you… How much of what she’s done did you see?” she asked carefully.

“I’ve seen her at her worst,” he assured her.

“But you weren’t there,” Niylah pointed out.

“But you were,” he said, “and you still showed up for her afterward, you still love her.”

Niylah smiled. “I do.”

This time the silence between them was more comfortable.

Then, Niylah remembered something. “Earlier,” she said slowly, “when we were all talking and you were talking about Pike… you called Lincoln the love of her life.” She looked at him, a question in her eyes that she did not know how to put into words.

He swallowed. “That’s because he was,” he replied. “His death is what broke her, what made that dark side of her appear. Lincoln will always mean the world to her and I know that.”

“Then where do you fit into that picture?” Niylah asked carefully.

“I know I mean something to her,” he said slowly. “I mean a lot to her,” he smiled. “Before you get worried though that I’m basing my whole denying transcendence decision on how I feel about her, that’s not it. I just want to live, you know? I want to live in a world with feelings and, sure, my feelings for her are a big, a giant part of that but I also want to build friendships with the rest of you, I want to experience that feeling of family and belonging that holds you all together…” He paused, looking at her and the excited gleam in his eyes made her smile until it started to dim. “Octavia is the love of my life and maybe that means I should be jealous of him but I don’t get it. I love her for everything she is and the people she has lost – Lincoln and Bellamy most of all – are such a big part of that, how could I ever want to deny her those? I love her enough to accept that I may not be the love of her life. I’m just happy she has any feelings for me at all.”

“I understand,” Niylah nodded and he could see in her eyes that she meant it. When she looked over at Clarke, he followed her eyes. “I never loved her the way you love Octavia and I never expected much from her, you know? But still, I loved her – I still do…” she trailed off, getting lost somewhere deep in her thoughts before catching herself enough to continue. “I used to sleep with Clarke before Praimfaya,” she explained. “The first time was while she was still hiding in the woods after she had killed the Mountain Men. She was hurt and alone so I gave her what she needed. Then she was captured and brought to Lexa. She told me a few things of what happened between them in Polis when we started sleeping together again a month or so after Lexa had died. She had a drawing of her, sleeping…”

Niylah looked over at Levitt again.

“Like I said, Clarke and I were never together in the sense you and Octavia are now but just know that I understand the feeling of being with someone who has lost the love of their life. Losing Lexa shaped Clarke just like losing Lincoln shaped Octavia, it’s why she prioritized Madi over everything else, it’s the reason why she’s hurt many of us here… it’s hard to see the person you love in pain over missing a person you never even got to meet, but I can see that you’re good. You are good for her and I think you’ll be able to handle Octavia’s pain. Plus, you won’t be alone. You have me, you have us. If you ever need help with helping Octavia, we’re here for you.”

“Thank you,” Levitt smiled. “Thank you for trusting me with her, I know how much she means to you.”

“I trust you  _ because _ of how much she means to me,” Niylah explained. “I haven’t seen her as happy as you are making her… ever, I believe. So really, thank  _ you _ .”


	12. Emori and Murphy

"Funny, isn't it?" Emori half-whispered into her fiance's ear, looking over at where Hope was comforting Jordan.

"What?" Murphy asked, his mind having been elsewhere.

Emori didn't seem to notice. "The daughter of McCreary and Diyoza, raised by her mother, Octavia and a criminal from Bardo dating the son of Monty Green and Harper McIntyre," she chucked.

"Who would've thought killer-genes and pacifist-genes would make for an awesome combo, huh?" 

"Well, we'll never get to see them mix…" 

Murphy sensed the shift in his partner's mood. "We'll never have kids either…," he pointed out unnecessarily. "Is that a big problem for you?"

Emori swallowed, cleared her throat, then swallowed again, thinking what to say while trying not to cry. "I would've loved," she started before the tears started forming in her eyes. "I would've loved to give someone the love I never got from my parents," she finally admitted and the floodgates of her eyes were opened. 

"Hey, hey," Murphy said calming and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. "Hey, it's okay."

He held her for a bit until her sobs subsided before, with another kiss to her forehead, he released her from his arms again. 

"You know," he started, gently pushing her hair out of her face, "there may never be those weird children creatures again…"

She chuckled weakly at that.

"... but that doesn't mean your love isn't welcomed or needed here." He lifted up her head with a finger under her chin to have her look at him. "And not just by me, by all of them! The kids may not technically be kids but they still lack some, you know, interpersonal skills you'll help teach them. Raven and Ash are still our family and they've got some trauma to work through that you can help with, same goes for all the others." He gave her a peck on the lips before he continued. "I'll never get to see the way you would have loved our kids but I'm looking forward to decades of you loving our family."

Emori pulled him into a kiss that she didn't let him break as quickly as the peck before. "Thank you," she whispered into his stubble of a beard when they pulled apart. 

With their foreheads still resting against each other, he could feel her furrow her brows instead of seeing it. 

"What were you thinking about?" she asked in a low voice. "Before I brought up Jordan and Hope,... I pulled you out of something, didn't I?"

She had pulled away from him while asking the question so she was now able to study his face as he thought up his reply.

"Yes," he decided to tell the truth. "I've been thinking about this since lunch…" His hand traveled to his neck where his fingers started picking at his hair. 

Emori was tempted to swat it away but knew he needed it for his nerves. "What is it, John?"

There was a slight flinch in Murphy's body as if she had somehow hit a nerve with that. "It's not decided yet so don't tell the others but… since...  _ Ash _ said she doesn't want us to call her Echo anymore, I've been thinking about my own name and… I know the name  _ John _ for me has some negative connotations with it, too, Jaha called me John and so did Josephine but the way  _ you  _ say my name it just…" He took a deep breath. "I mean, the others have called me Murphy for years and realizing Clarke was alive by her calling me Murphy was one of the most relieving moments of my life but I think ' _ Murphy _ ' will always remind me of 'shut up, Murphy's and death threats and all that while whenever I hear 'John' now it's somehow calming to me because John is who I am with you…"

"You're considering asking everyone to call you John?" 

John nodded. "I mean, I think it's safe to say there won't ever be another John to confuse me with, huh?" he smiled.

Emori chuckled. "Right. Tell me when you're ready to ask the others, okay?"

"Will do, Ma'am," he said with a mock-salute.

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit, Emori's eyes falling back onto the kids.

"You know, Harper would have loved that her son is dating a girl named Hope," she chuckled. 

John laughed with her, "Yea, Monty would've loved that, too."


	13. Gaia and Indra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it, AgentofMarvel084 ;D

“I’m proud of you, Gaia.” Indra placed her hand on her daughter’s back for a second before letting it fall down to her side again.

Gaia looked over at her mother, finding more vulnerability in the woman’s eyes than maybe ever before. “What for?”

“Everything,” Indra smiled. “Instead of blindly following your mother’s wishes, you stood by your values and beliefs and made yourself your own path in life.”

“You used to resent me for that decision.”

“I never resented you,” Indra quickly responded. “I’m sorry my words and actions made it look like I did, but I could have never resented you.”

Gaia looked at her mother, needing but not expecting an alternative explanation for her past behavior.

“When…” Indra took a deep breath to steady herself. “After he died, I did not allow myself to feel grief. I needed to be strong for my people, strong for my  _ gona _ ,” she explained. “But at the same time, you were feeling all that pain and I could see it and I envied you for being able to let yourself feel.”

Gaia furrowed her brows but let her mother continue her unexpected story.

“At the same time I knew I could not let you feel that strongly because I knew that in your life you would be confronted with so many more deaths and I knew that if you mourned each one of them as strongly as you did him, it would become dangerous for you.”

There was a short pause in which a single sentence reverberated through Gaia. A sentence she had heard often from other  _ Fleimkepa _ and a sentence she knew her mother had believed in all those years ago:  _ Love is weakness. _

“Then you left,” Indra continued, pulling Gaia out of her thoughts. “And with you left all I had left of him. His friends had died with him in that battle and the attack from  _ Sangedakru _ had destroyed most material things I had of his…” 

Indra turned around to face her daughter for the first time during this conversation. “You look so much like him, you know?”

“I do?” Gaia asked, realizing again how little she remembered of her father’s face.

Indra simply nodded and looked back ahead. They fell into a silence that laid somewhere between tense and comfortable before Indra turned towards her daughter again.

“Tell me about your days alone here,” she requested. “Only if you want,” she quickly added.

“It’s okay, mother,” Gaia assured her and cleared her throat. “It helped a little that one of the last interactions I had had before being alone had been with Clarke. I knew she had survived alone until she had found Madi so I know I would be able to do it, too. At least for a while.”

Indra leaned forward a bit, just listening to her daughter’s story.

“I kept myself busy for some time, built the small shelter outside the bunker because I knew I would not be able to sleep down there for even one night. I found the river here and the berries and started making a few weapons out of sticks and stones. On the third day, I went back into the bunker to see if there was anything I could use for survival. On the fourth day, now having everything I needed, I started thinking for the first time and I realized that for some time, nobody would come looking for me.”

“We thought you were with Clarke and they thought you were with us,” Indra remembered.

“Exactly,” Gaia nodded. “I also did not know how traveling by the stone system worked. I did not know if there was a stone here or if I had only been able to land here because this was my home planet. I did not know if, once you did start looking for me, you would be able to get to me.”

“These stones are complicated,” Indra sighed. “I don’t think even Raven fully understands them.”

Gaia chuckled at that. “Don’t let her hear that or she’ll get mad at you,” she grinned.

“I’m proud of you,” Indra repeated her sentence from the beginning of their conversation. “I know it was only a few days that you were alone but I am proud of your strength and resilience.” Indra smiled at a thought she had. “I’m the proudest mother on the planet.”

Gaia laughed with her mother at that. When their laughter died down, she drew a deep breath. “We’re the last blood-relation of humankind,” she pointed out.

Indra nodded. “Yes, we are.” She looked at her daughter, a glimmering in her eyes Gaia could not interpret. “What would your father think of all that happened to us these past years?”

Gaia’s breath got caught in her lungs at her mother mentioning her father so freely and easily. She smiled as she let out her breath. “He would be so proud of us both.”

“Wherever we go now after we die,” Indra thought back to the question everyone had asked themselves only a few minutes earlier, “I’m sure he will be there with us.”


	14. Clarke and Raven

Raven sat down next to Clarke, not saying anything for a few seconds as if to muster up some courage. Then finally, she took a breath in and in a casual tone asked, “So you and Gaia... is that... is that anything or?”

“What?” Clarke asked, bemused.

“Yea, Octavia said that, too. She said Gaia isn’t really a relationship person.”

“I don’t know about that but I know that she and I aren’t anything other than friends.”

“Okay…” 

There was a short silence.

“Do you think we need to get ourselves someone to, you know, be with?” Raven asked carefully. “I mean, these people here are all the options we’ve got but you could do Niylah maybe now that O has Levitt…” She trailed off, not really sure why she was bringing up the topic.

“I don’t think we should focus ourselves too much on who is with whom,” Clarke replied, equally as careful. “There’s only 14 people left. We should be one family, together. I know it’s going to take some pairings a bit longer than others to fully trust one another but I think that should be our goal.”

“You’re right,” Raven admitted. Her serious face quickly changed into a grin then. “Though I don’t think we’ll get Jackson and Miller off of one another any time soon,” she chuckled.

They sat next to each other in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the calm evening air mixed with the sound of the water on the shore and the people they loved surrounding them. 

“We should be one people,” Raven broke the silence, her voice a lot lower and a lot more serious again.

Clarke made a questioning sound, turning back towards the woman beside her, sensing the shift in her mood.

“Back on earth – I mean, back when we were on earth the first time around – we used to make fun of you for saying ‘for my people’ all the time but... it’s the reason we’re alive,” Raven said, not looking at Clarke but the trees instead. “We were your people and you protected us and that’s the reason we’re still here.”

Clarke swallowed, now, too looking away from the woman she was talking to, instead staring into the darkness of the forest. “I’ve killed more people than I’ve saved, Raven.”

Raven shifted, knowing what Clarke had said was true, but not wanting her friend to think that way. “You saved most of the people you care most about, though. That must mean something!” She looked over at Clarke, searching her eyes to see if her words had reached her the way they had been intended. They hadn’t.

“... ‘most of’…,” Clarke repeated, her eyes seemingly glued to the darkness they were looking into. 

“Yes, Clarke, ‘most of’,” Raven said, her voice growing almost desperate. “Nobody could have expected from you to save more than that! You aren’t a god!”

Clarke didn’t say anything in response but Raven could see tears starting to form in her eyes and she was ready to kick herself for having brought up the topic.

“You were sixteen when you were locked up in the Skybox; seventeen when you were sent to the ground; eighteen when you saved the seven of us and were left alone on the surface for it. You were ripped out of your childhood and did more for us all than any of the adults ever even got close to! I am so incredibly proud of you Clarke and I will keep reminding you of that for however long we get to be together here.”

At Raven’s last words, Clarke had slowly turned towards her, searching for the lie in her eyes, for the takeback, anything… but all she found was sincerity and honest caring. “Thank you, Raven,” she said, her voice slightly shaking. “Thank you.”

Raven looked back at the woman she had grown to care so much for in the years they had – and hadn’t – spent together.

“I love you.” The words left her lips without a thought. The truth in them had been rooted too deeply in her chest that she would have never thought to think them through before letting them free.

Nevertheless, Clarke’s gaze again scanned over her features, searching before she finally muttered back, “I love you, too.”


	15. Ash, Miller and Murphy

Hope and Jordan were still sitting together at the side of the water quietly when the rest started to prepare for bed. 

As expected, Miller offered to be the first guard but Jackson, tired from the work of the day, said he wouldn’t be able to join his boyfriend so Ash offered to stay up with him instead.

Before Octavia lay down between her friends, she looked over at Hope and Jordan, sitting quietly at the lake. She shared a look with Ash, who just shrugged but then gave Octavia a slight nod that said “it will be okay” so Octavia finally, with a long breath out, let her body rest on the thin mattress.

Looking back over at the two kids, Ash remembered the reason why they were sitting away from the rest and noticed something she did not yet know about the man sitting silently beside her.

“What about your parents?” she asked in a low voice as to not disturb the ones trying to fall asleep. “You don’t have to tell me,” she quickly assured him, “... just curious.”

Miller gave her a slight smile. “It’s okay,” he said. “I never actually knew my mom. She got sick a couple of months after I was born and died before I even learned how to walk. My dad raised me.”

“Tell me about your dad.” Ash turned more towards the man to show him she was listening closely.

Miller looked into the distance with a smile. “My dad was the greatest man I ever knew – don’t tell Jax I said that,” he quickly added with a chuckle, making Ash smile. “Yea, I rebelled against him as a kid, got myself thrown into the Skybox for it – for stealing and I’m sure he wasn’t too happy about that being that he was in the guard and all but still when we saw each other again after being in Mount Weather and stuff… there was no doubt in his eyes that he would always love me, that he’d always do everything he could to protect me. And he did.” Miller took in a deep breath and Ash could see he was trying to conceal his tears. “When Skaikru did the lottery to see who would survive in the bunker, Kane later told me that my dad put in my name instead of his. He knew he would die and he did so willingly because he knew it would give me more of a chance to live. I survived because of him.” Miller started nodding in an attempt to make his body stop trying to produce tears. “He saved my life.”

“My father died saving me, too.”

Miller looked over at the woman he had once hated on behalf of Octavia. He nodded and it was enough to show her he acknowledged their shared experience and thanked her for listening but did not need to talk about it more.

They sat together in silence as Hope and Jordan finally decided to go to sleep next to the others. They didn’t talk as Ash noticed Clarke shaking and whimpering in her sleep – likely from a nightmare – and they didn’t say a thing as they watched a sleeping Raven intuitively wrap her arm around Clarke next to her. As Clarke nuzzled into Raven and the warm contact slowly calmed her down, Ash looked away from the two sleeping women and found Miller barely able to hold his eyes open.

“Wake someone else up,” she whispered. “Wake someone up and go to sleep.”

He grunted lightly as if to say “No, I’ve got this!” but a few seconds later, he slowly got up, took a moment to find balance in his new position, and went over to the sleeping pile of people.

Looking over them, unsure who to wake, he finally nudged Murphy’s shoulder with his foot, causing the man to stir awake.

“Watch,” Miller simply explained before he turned away and moved to sleep next to his boyfriend.

Murphy grunted a few times, moving so little Ash worried he would fall back asleep before he would get his body to wake up fully until he finally managed to crawl out from between Emori and Octavia. Once on the stones, he got up and made his way to the bench next to Ash.

“Morning,” she greeted him with a careful smile.

“Isn’t yet,” he grunted back and yawned.

“Sorry, but Miller was about to fall off the bench backward and I’m not awake enough to care for a head wound like that,” she joked.

“Then why don’t you go to sleep, too, and find another unfortunate sucker like me to keep awake?”

“I like it when it’s dark,” she explained.

Murphy looked over at her with a barely raised eyebrow. “Hm,” he just made.

The rest of their watch was as quiet as it had been with Miller and just before sunrise, when the sky was starting to turn orange, Indra – ever the early bird – woke up to relieve them. 

With Ash’s and Murphy’s mattresses around her empty and cold, Emori, in her sleeping state, had rolled over onto Ash’s to cuddle into Raven’s back so with Murphy falling onto the mattress next to his fiancee, Ash plopped down on the one he had been sleeping on before. 

She slept through the sunrise, slept through the people around her slowly, one after another, rising, slept through Octavia’s surprised and then content face at seeing her former enemy asleep next to her and only awoke at the growing sound of people gathering for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast happening over in [Chapter 7 of Taim 'so na hash au 'so stedaunon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26794294/chapters/66680989) again, you people know the drill by now haha


End file.
